The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, May 16, 2015

heelers debates frau gruber

Tearman Cafe morning.
Frau Gruber golds into the cafe and sits opposite me.
"How are you voting James?" she demands.
"You know how I'm voting," I answer.
"You're voting yes."
"I'm voting no, you big Kraut."
"But, but why?"
"Because I don't honestly believe that any human being can find happiness in a sexual relationship with a person of the same gender. And I don't honestly believe that referring to same sex sexual relationships as marriage will make any human being in Ireland or on the planet even a tad happier."
Frau Gruber digested this briefly and then spent the next half hour exclaiming: "How do you know?" with great Teutonic verve and what can only be called righteous gusto.
It was amazing how many synonyms she had for: "How do you know?"
"How do you know? How can you know? How can you be sure of anything? Who knows? What is known about anything? What is known about anything that another person experiences as happiness? How can you be sure? What right have you to be sure? What right have you to know? If someone wants to do something what right have to tell them not to? If someone wants to do something how can you know they shouldn't?"
And so on.
The upshot of it seemed to be that she did not for a second believe I knew or had a right to know, anything about anything.
When she paused, I spoke softly.
"I didn't say I know," I told her, "I said, I think. This is my opinion. It's the best I can do. If for some reason you have already found opinions of mine to be worthy of respect, perhaps you should weight this one carefully. Otherwise, why worry?"
Ah yes folks.
The argomento ad James is a wise man.
It's surprising how unconvincing people find it.

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