The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, September 02, 2013


A weekend in London.
I'd heard that General Tomlinson Smythe, an old war horse in his 90's, was dying and I wanted to see him.
A lot of these lads think they're dying until they get a visit from me and then they suddenly perk up.
Seriously though.
I arrived at Ponsonby Close and was shown into the living room where the General was reclining in an armchair with his feet on a little stool.
Various family members were britishly buzzing around tapping laptops, arranging furniture, or whatever, but they withdrew quietly and simultaneously when I sat down with their father.
The Brits really know how to withdraw.
If the Irish were trying to withdraw, they'd walk into doors, drop trays and trip over the dog.
But the Brits just quietly melt away.
They disperse.
Like some gas.
(Hey. - PG Wodehouse note)
(Homage. - Heelers note)
I'd often thought the General ran his family with military efficiency and this was a sure sign of it.
Classical music had been playing when I entered but as I sat down one of the departing daughters smoothly muted it.
The General greeted me and said at once: "I'm waiting for God to take me."
I said: "I'm a bit surprised you would say that. You look so vital."
The General said: "I just want to go. I'm asking God to take me now."
I said: "He might have more work for you to do."
"It's all done."
"Maybe he wants you to stay around for a while just to give your family a chance to love you a bit more. They're only getting their hand in. Up to now you've been minding them. They might need a little extra time with you."
He was silent.
I went on: "And he might want you to take this time to savour the harvest. After a lifetime in the service of the lord, he might just want you to stop and count the victories he has sent you for his glory. He might want you to be still for a moment and think about what you have done by his grace. He might want you to know before you leave, that he thinks you did a good job."
I got up, shook his hand and walked outside without a farewell to the family.
There wouldn't be a problem.
They were true Brits.
They knew the score.
In the street London engulfed me once more.

the earth is afire with mysteries
the truth i bring you friends
through the temples of our shabbiness
walk ghost men

I of course mean me.

obloquys for seamus heaney

(Heelers may mean obsequies - Ed note.)
Seamus Heaney was given a send off today at the Church of the Holy Liberal Atheists, in Donnybrook, Dublin.
An audience drawn from the ranks of abortionist atheistic contrareceiving life in test tubes promoting euthanasist hoor masters from the Stalinist State broadcaster RTE were joined by their hoors for a ceremony that must surely have provoked cheers all over the seventh ring of hell.
There was a certain irony in the make up of the congregation at this particular funeral.
For RTE has of course refused to retract its latest malign attempt to frame a Catholic cleric for child abuse even after the family of the man RTE had framed obtained evidence appearing to exonerate him.
The latest victim was conveniently deceased when RTE framed him but his family have done a little research, and the African person RTE had paid to claim to be a sex abuse victim has refused to attend a formal hearing to back up his allegations.
In addition the African person RTE paid to frame the deceased cleric has said his statements about the cleric were misquoted by RTE.
In addition the fellow students of the person paid by RTE to frame the deceased cleric, have given official statements asserting that no such abuse took place.
And RTE still hasn't pointed out to the general public that RTE's attempt to frame the deceased cleric was utterly malicious and utterly false and has now been exposed as an utter sham.
By the way, the RTE staffers responsible for paying the lying African to frame the deceased cleric have not been identified.
Nor should we forget that this situation comes hot on the heels of RTE's failed attempt to frame another Catholic priest using exactly the same methods.
In that instance RTE made the mistake of bribing an African to make a false rape claim against a certain Father Kevin Reynolds, in addition to claiming that Father Kevin Reynolds had fathered a child with her, the mistake being that RTE contrived this frame up while Father Kevin Reynolds was still alive and Father Kevin Reynolds obtained a quarter million dollar damages settlement from RTE, when the African person that RTE had paid to frame him retracted her testimony after first refusing to take a blood test which would have confirmed that Father Kevin Reynolds was not the father of her baby and then supposedly having taken the test which did indeed prove she was a miserable perjuring lying RTE hireling hound.
The general public have been compelled to pay RTE's damages to Father Kevin Reynolds through compulsory taxation by our Stalinist government.
RTE frames yet another innocent Catholic priest for child rape, gets caught doing it, and we all pay the bills.
The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.
Come back Anglo Irish Bank, all is forgiven.
And today we have the grand anti Catholic atheistic panjandrums of RTE cramming Donnybrook Church to pose and preen at Seamus Heaney's mockery of a funeral, presided over by a couple of tame Padres who seem to have forgotten entirely their duty to God and to the Church and to the Truth and last of all to their priestly colleagues even now being falsely framed for child abuse by this hoormaster RTE congregation of hypocrites assembled here before our eyes.
I couldn't help wondering mildly what lifelong atheist  Seamus Heaney's corpse was doing in a Catholic Church anyway, even one as debased as that at Donnybrook.
And lo!
Up the aisle swanked Archbishop Diarmuid Martin.
Archie placed a Bible on lifelong atheist Seamus Heaney's coffin.
Archie said: "He spent his life among words and so it is right that we place these words there."
The Bible, mark you.
Not Das Kapital.
I found the whole thing quite quaint.

intelligence briefing re possible intervention in syria

In Attendance: President Barack Obama.
                         Plus Joint Chiefs Of Staff.

James Healy: "You see Barack, when Vladimir Putin detonates a small scale nuclear device in the Mediterranean, the oceans will boil, our warships and the USS Nimitz will melt, and our heroes will die in their boats. Then you'll be left blaming President Bush for World War Three which will surely result. Don't do it. John McCain and Lindsey Graham are dining out on past glories. When the Bushwhacker went to war he always made sure, through his personal contacts with the psychopathic Mr Putin, that Russia was not available as a rogue card. You don't have the same relationship with the psychopathic Mr Putin. Don't... Do... It..."

Sunday, September 01, 2013

barack in wonderland

President Barack Obama of the USA, announced today: "I know some people are worried because of the longevity of the conflict in Afghanistan. I know some people are suspicious about our commitment in Iraq. But the engagement in Syria will be a limited one."
Barack made his career out of falsely criminalising President Bush's strong actions against Nazi regimes in Afghanistan and Iraq.
It is hard for Barack to admit that anyone could have reservations about something he himself might do now, without blaming those reservations on the President he sought to destroy merely to advance his own career during a time of war.
Here is the news Barack.
Al Qaeda has hijacked the formerly legitimate rebellion in Syria.
Al Qaeda has murdered far more people all over the world in far less humane ways, ie by hacking their heads off while they're still alive and conscious, than have been purportedly killed by the Assad Regime using chemical weapons.
Al Qaeda have blinded more schoolgirls with acid, than Syrian President Assad ever did.
(In fact the Syrian President is accused of a grand total of nought schoolgirl blindings.)
If you go into Syria, you are installing Al Qaeda as the government of that country.
Vladimir Putin, the psychopathic resovietising President of Russia, has said he will not let you do it.
So if you go into Syria on behalf of Al Qaeda, you will be lining the world up for a war with Putin's Russia.
Many many people oppose this Barack.
And our analysis has nothing to do with your ongoing attempts to criminalise Mr Bush.
Thank you for your time.

tributes to the late seamus heaney

"Seamus Heaney is dead," said Monty Baines.
"Ah, it was a blessed release," I replied straight faced, "for all of us."

ireland narco mafia state


1. Drug gangs, people traffickers, and Islamists, are currently dividing Ireland up into personal fiefdoms.

2. The main crime gangs engaged in the subversion of the Irish State are: Members of the supposedly defunct communist terror army formerly styled the IRA, members of the Muslim supremacist organisation styled Al Qaeda, Nigerian people traffickers (The Nigerians routinely use black magic to cow the people they are trafficking into prostitution), Chinese Triads, old Italian Mafias, along with new Russian, new Lithuanian and other new Eastern European Mafias. A supposed ethnic minority in Ireland, self styled as The Travellers, and formerly known simply as The Tinkers, has also produced some significantly evil players on the crime scene. Irish police say that two main Traveller families based in Dublin have become synonomous with criminal activities all over Ireland. Traveller crime families are coalescent with the IRA.

3. The connection between fascist Islamists and communist terror armies has dated from the time the IRA were training at terror camps run by Colonel Gadaffi in the 1980's. Al Qaeda has created a more recent and direct liaison with European and South American communist terror groups, including the Irish IRA, the Basque separatists Eta and the Colombian Farc. This coalescence and cooperation has been fuelled by Al Qaeda's need to find markets for its heroin and cocaine. There have been Muslim conversions among the FARC.

4. The Irish Police have confirmed that the main importers of cannabis into Ireland are Moroccan gangs. For Moroccan read Muslim. For Muslim read Islamist. The myth that Muslim terrorists have moral reservations about dealing drugs should now be laid to rest permanently.

5. In Ireland the newly coalescent Mafias have moved in on Dublin's taxi trade. To the shame of the police and licencing authorities, gangsters have been given licences to operate their own taxis. The real annexation of the taxi trade has taken place behind closed doors through intimidation, terror and murder. The Mobsters hijacking of Dublin's taxi trade is reminiscent of the former IRA's business practices in Northern Ireland, where for decades the thug terror army ran the Black Taxis of Belfast and used them as a mobile transport corps for their murderous activities.

6. The new element in all this exploding narco criminality is the Al Qaeda element. Alone among the hoodlums hijacking Ireland, Al Qaeda has a political vision and the will to implement it.

7. Al Qaeda's political vision for Ireland and the Irish is that the entire populace shall be terrorised and enslaved to Islamic Nazism.

8. The new Mafias and the old ones who are together hijacking Ireland as we speak, benefit greatly from their liaisons with corrupt police officers.

9. The new Mafias favour the use of teenagers and pre teens for moving drugs, vandalism, and other harassment activities. They use teenagers and thugs in their twenties as militias projecting fear and intimidation in towns and villages across Ireland. The Mafias favour the use of children and teenagers as these can often function below the radar of what passes for law enforcement in Ireland.

10. The societal dynamic being unleashed across Ireland by this dark alliance of IRA, Al Qaeda, Triad, Russian/Nigerian/Italian mafia  murderers, psychopaths, drug dealers, rapists, kidnappers, pimps and child abusers, is IDENTICAL to that which the Italian Mafias unleashed on Italy a generation ago. Italy is now a failed State. Its young people wish only to escape from it. Its corporations are owned and controlled by gangsters. No aspiring businessman can so much as open a shop without permission from a murdering racketeer. Whole swathes of the countryside and cities are effectively governed by nameless faceless killers who pull the  strings of elected politicians. For Italy the Mafia brought a new dark ages.

11. They're doing the same thing here. Now.

12. It's time to take out the trash.

the scum are on the streets

Coffee with Ron Baines.
"You know," he said, "that nobody can open a shop in Dublin now without paying protection money to the gangsters?"
My mind flew to a conversation I'd had back in the 1980's with a young banking executive.
The first of the Dublin crime families were flooding the city with heroin at the time.
I had said to the banker: "I hope you people aren't paying protection money to drug gangs in order to get permission to open your banks in Dublin city."
The bank official had replied with unusual indiscretion: "Sure if you don't pay, you can't open."
I had then said: "If you people are bowing to gangland already, our children will end up having to ask gangland for permission to walk down the street."
So it has come to pass.

tributes to the late seamus heaney

"All day people were coming into the shop," said Uncle Scutch. "They'd all heard of him. They all knew he was a poet. They all knew he'd won a Nobel Prize. Not one of them could quote anything he wrote."