The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

homage to catalonia

Coffeeing with Ron Baines in the Costa at the White Water Centre, Newbridge.
Baines is a follower of the Lord who does quite a bit of reaching out to the poor and marginalised.
People I can't be bothered reaching out to.
Because I find them bor-r-r-r-r-r-ring.
Ron will sit with them for hours telling them Jesus loves them.
I wouldn't last five minutes.
Today we are talking about weighty theological matters.
"What would you ask for," sez I, "if Jesus appeared and said: Here, you two. You're followers of mine. I'll give you one grace, whatever you want, just one."
"I'd have to pray about it," said Ron soulfully.
"Pray schmay," I crowed. "I can tell you straight away. If the Lord appeared to me with any such offer, there wouldn't be a moment's hesitation."
"What would you ask for?"
"I'd ask for the Spanish au pair who works for my brother."
Ron digested this.
"You're honest anyway," he said bemusedly.
The cafe cacaphoned around us as a herd of student sexalopes wandered through.
When the vacarme ceased I spoke again.
"What would you do if Jesus appeared and instead of offering the one gift you most desire, told you he wanted you to do something for him. That he wanted you to do, as an offering to him, the most difficult thing, the one thing in your heart you really don't want to do?"
"I'd have to pray about that one too," answered Ron.
"What's with you and the praying!" I prodded jeeringly. "I know right now. I don't even need to think. The one thing I really don't want to do is to go to the Muslims of Dublin and say: I've hated you but God made you and it is an offence against him to hate you. Forgive me. I'd hate that. Really. Nothing worse. Nothing I'd rather not do more."
A thought struck me.
"But if he gives me the au pair," I said somewhat ruefully, "I'm gonna do it."

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