The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

obitcheries

TEN THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GARRET
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Former Irish Prime Minister Garret Fitzgerald was buried with full honours last week.
Burying him was the correct decision.
He was dead.
His funeral took place at the church of the Holy Liberal Atheists in Donnybrook, presided over by a tame Padre who did not once mention the following:
1. Garret Fitzgerald was a militant abortionist, contraceptivist, divorcenik who facilitated the takeover of Ireland's then second largest political party Fine Gael by an organised cadre of socialist atheists who rather quaintly, though surreptitiously, styled themselves humanists, and who were financed every step of the way by Tony O'Reilly, a whoremaster hedonist, who happened to own the virulently anti Catholic corporation styling itself Independent Newspapers.
2. Garret Fitzgerald with his acolyte Alan Dukes presided over the organised expulsion of Christians from the Fine Gael party, the most prominent among those ousted being parliamentarian Alice Glenn who dared to oppose abortion and damn the torpedos. He ruined her for it.
3.Garret Fitzgerald presided over the first corrupt bail out of Ireland's corrupt Allied Irish Bank thirty years ago, during which he compelled Irish people to finance the high living life style of Allied Irish Banks' corrupt Board of Management and senior executives, for a grand total of nothing in return.
4. Garret Fitzgerald's supporters claim he had an enlightened view of Ireland's relationship with Britain. Yet Mrs Thatcher in her memoirs clearly states that she preferred dealing with the supposedly anti British Prime Minister Charlie Haughey.
5. The nickname Garret The Good, allegedly invented by his political enemies, was in fact shamelessly promoted by atheistic elements within The Irish Times, Independent Newspapers and RTE who so despised the Catholic Church, they were willing to back any horse against it. The Irish Times has since been directly implicated in a Cold War plot to bring Ireland under Communist Russian control. One Irish Times journalist, now deceased, was outed in The Phoenix magazine for drawing up a list for the KGB of non communist journalists who were to be rounded up when the Russians, using the IRA as their proxy army, finally took over Ireland. Lovely people.
6. The legend that it took three men and two computers to replace Garret Fitzgerald when he left his job at Ireland's permanently loss making State Airline the whimsically named Aer Lingus, is an arrant falsehood. It didn't take anything to replace him. Aer Lingus continued as it always had done. Losing money and being bailed out by the nation.

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