The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

ger colleran's moment of truth

It was morning in the Daily Star offices.
The editor Ger Colleran sat behind his desk.
Ger Colleran is famous in Ireland for a cowardly and grotesque lie which he perpetrated on national television a few years ago, wherewith he falsely maliciously and malignly claimed children had been sexually abused in every Catholic Church presbytery in Ireland.
As editor of a newspaper which is half owned by a British porn baron, he likes to pose as a champion of moral probity.
And he just loves to falsely impugn the faith of our fathers.
Today he was brooding over a print out of The Heelers Diaries.
A minion entered.
Like most of the younger male staff at the Daily Star, the minion was a sneaky looking piece of work in a cheap suit.
"Caruthers," murmured Ger Colleran softly. "Is it true?"
"Is what true, Sir?" answered the minion.
Ger Colleran took a deep breath.
"Am I really a slatternly vapid assinine turpitudinous egg yolk of a man?"  he wondered.
The minion looked at his shoes.
"Er," he said. "Er, um, I mean, well, that is to say, I'm, eh, I'm sure, eh, I mean, who can judge, I mean, er, Heelers himself probably doesn't even know what he means by that."
Ger Colleran stared vacantly towards the window.
His vapid turpitudinous slatternly soulless egg yolk eyes were filmed with tears.

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