The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, August 29, 2010

it just ain't cricket

I have not watched a cricket match since 2007 and will not watch one again.
I do not watch cricket matches because of my strong feelings about events that occurred in the Cricket World Cup of 2007.
At this World Cup, my beloved Ireland defeated the Pakistan Cricket team.
Within hours of the defeat, Pakistan's Cricket coach Englishman Bob Woolmer had been murdered in his hotel room.
Initial reports stated clearly that he was strangled.
I made some enquiries.
My source within the gambling fraternity informed me that the result against Ireland had been fixed.
When I asked how he could be sure, my source replied: "James you yourself would have a better chance of beating Bjorn Borg in a game of tennis than Ireland would have of beating Pakistan at Cricket. You might get your racket to his serve an odd time by chance. He might double fault through sheer random accident once or twice in three sets. Otherwise it would just be ace, ace, ace, ace, ace. And when you served to him the return would be buried, buried, buried, buried, buried, every time. Unless Bjorn had a heart attack, you would not win a game or a point aside from his double faults if any. Ireland were similarly mismatched against Pakistan. The result that occurred between Ireland and Pakistan simply couldn't happen other than through match fixing."
My source added not unkindly that the bookmaking probabilities as far as a gambler would be concerned, would suggest the bet on me against Bjorn Borg might actually be far better value as a monetary investment than any bet on the Irish to beat Pakistan.
He rejected all suggestions in the strongest possible terms that the Ireland Pakistan match could have been anything other than fixed.
I asked him did he seriously think innocent little amateur Irish cricketers would be involved in match fixing.
He told me that the team that wins doesn't need to know a thing about it.
It is only the losing team, in this case Pakistan, that has to be in on the plan.
After consulting my gambling source, I undertook further modest research and confirmed that Pakistan had previously been caught throwing a match against Bangladesh in a World Cup tournament.
A swirl of match fixing allegations had surrounded the team for at least the last decade.
The most persistent rumours seemed to indicate that an organised coterie of Pakistani players were throwing games in return for bribes from gamblers.
Pakistani authorities themselves had ordered a Judicial enquiry into the earlier highly improbable defeat against Bangladesh.
The Pakistani Judge on the case had gone public to announce that Pakistan Cricketeer Inzamam Ul Haq was withholding evidence from his enquiry.
In the end Pakistan's own internal enquiry into the Pakistan Cricket team's match fixing, resulted in no expulsions from the team or from the sport.
Other such Judicial enquiries in Pakistan over the years have occasionally resulted in famous players being permanently excluded from the game.
For the most part though, they've been getting away with it.
I myself had become interested in Pakistan's Cricket team some weeks prior to the death of coach Bob Woolmer.
I had thought that coach Bob Woolmer was taking risks as an Englishman working with a team known to be infiltrated by Islamist Jihadis who were committed to terrorism and rabidly imbued with hatred for any human being not of their stripe.
At the time, Islamist Jihadis were getting trounced by the American and British armies in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Islamist Jihadis all over the world were desperate for opportunities to kill white people and/or Westerners.
And the Pakistan Cricket team was rotten with just such Islamist Jihadis.
The Pakistan Cricket Captain Inzamam Ul Haq was a committed member of terrorist organisation Tablighi Jamaat.
When Bob Woolmer appeared on television sports reports from Pakistani Cricket team training sessions, I shook my head sadly.
I thought that any Westerner working with Inzamam Ul Haq and friends was taking his life in his hands.
The then President of Pakistan Pervez Musharaff had also been concerned about Islamist elements infiltrating the Pakistan Cricket team and recruiting its players.
President Musharaff had appealed to the players to focus on the sporting side of what they were supposed to be doing.
Within days of the death of Bob Woolmer, pathologist Ere Seshaiah concluded Bob Woolmer had been murdered by manual strangulation.
Jamaican Police Commissioner Lucius Thomas told reporters Bob Woolmer's death was murder.
Jamaica's Chief Investigator on the case a former British policeman called Mark Shields insisted that evidence in the bedroom indicated clearly that Bob Woolmer had been murdered.
There were unconfirmed reports that closed circuit television footage in the hotel showed members of Pakistan's Cricket team visiting Bob Woolmer's bedroom at the time Bob Woolmer was murdered.
The entire Pakistan Cricket team was interviewed by Jamaican police.
Shortly afterwards, I saw Pakistan's Cricket Captain and number one murder suspect Inzamam Ul Haq speaking to reporters on television.
When asked whether he had murdered Bob Woolmer, Inzamam Ul Haq giggled like a schoolgirl.
It was most inappropriate.
Then he said: "No."
From this display I concluded that Bob Woolmer had indeed been murdered and that Inzamam Ul Haq had killed him.
We'll know for sure one day.
The Cricket World Cup authorities did not expel Pakistan.
The Cricket World Cup authorities continued with their tournament.
The Pakistan Cricket team was permitted to fly home from Jamaica even while investigating police officers were insisting vociferously that Bob Woolmer had been murdered.
The shabbiness of the Cricketing authorities repsonse to the murder put me off the sport for life.
But the murder of Bob Woolmer alone would have been enough reason for me to withdraw my support forever.
The story had a further twist.
Within three months of beginning their investigation, Jamaican police back tracked on their initial announcements that Bob Woolmer had been murdered.
They now stated that the death was due to natural causes.
They claimed three independent autopsies had failed to concur with the examination by pathologist Ere Seshaiah.
Interestingly enough the investigation had been taken over by detectives from Britain's Scotland Yard and it was these who were to the fore in insisting Bob Woolmer had died of natural causes.
I would have a student's interest in knowing the names and religions of these Scotland Yard detectives.
Does it make me a racist if I suspect Pakistani Muslim police officers in Scotland Yard might be willing to conceal a murder by Pakistani Muslim Cricketers?
Their conclusions meant that the murderer of Bob Woolmer got away scot free.
Or should I say Scotland Yard free.
The final twist came when a Jury in the coroner's court refused to go along with this whitewash.
The Jury recorded an open verdict, still leaving the way open at least in theory for a murder prosecution.
Meanwhile in the intervening years since 2007, Islamist Jihadi players on the Pakistan Cricket team have continued to throw matches for money.
And just this week a normally low rent and sleazoid British newspaper called The News Of The World, courageously and honorably procured precise evidence in a sting operation of the extent of ongoing match fixing corruption within the Pakistan Cricket Team.
A News Of The World journalist had himself filmed bribing a go between to arrange various errors by Pakistani Cricketers in play which gamblers would be able to bet on.
For instance if a gambler knew in advance that a Pakistani Cricketer was about to bowl a foul ball, the gambler could bet vast sums on that eventuality.
The errors paid for by the News Of The World appeared as scheduled in Pakistan's match play during their current tour of England.
Arrests are expected hourly.
I for one am not surprised.
The real surprise will be if there's any actual convictions.

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