heelers goes adventuring again

Browsing in Barkers bookshop in Naas.
Looking for a present for one of the neighbour's kids who is six today.
I am hovering over a jigsaw that features The Famous Five.
The jigsaw comes complete with a mystery that you've to solve as you put the pieces together.
The Famous Five are author Enid Blyton's fictional child detectives by the way.
I remember a television version based on the characters years ago. It had a cracking theme song complete with the sublimest lyrics:
"We never let a mystery pass us by.
Just leave a clue and leave the rest to the Famous Five."
Original what!
Scooby Doo should have sued.
Ah.
The Famous Five.
They taught me everything I know.
I mean everything.
But this Famous Five on the cover of the jigsaw appear somewhat different to how I remember them.
For a start George is now a rather curvaceous black girl.
She was a girl years ago too, but not black.
An attractive staff member approaches.
The one with the nice smile.
"Are you going to buy it?" she enquires brightly.
I purse my famous Hogarthian lips.
"Well see here," I tell her hotly. "See what they've done to George. She's black. I mean what's been going on? What have they done to Enid Blyton's world since I've been gone? Has Aunt Fanny been having an affair with a Rasta man? Uncle Quentin should be told about this. And what's happend to Julian. This Julian looks like a male model. And Anne. They've made Anne into Britney Spears. Dick is the only one who looks vaguely like the old Dick, that is to say a bit of a hipster doophus."
The personable staff member waited until I had finished.
"It's a new version," she explained patiently. "The Disney channel did it. These are all children of the original Famous Five. And they have a dog called Timmy too, just like their parents did."
I let out a long low whistle.
"So George married a black guy," I mused.
"I'm not sure if they're married," said the book seller.
"Yoikes," I murmured sagely.
She grinned.
"Oh and for your information there's no Aunt Fanny anymore," she said. "They've replaced her with Aunt Franny as Fanny is considered sort of unacceptable."
My Swiftian jaw dropped.
"My God, the cads," I cried.
"They'd probably have done away with Dick too if they thought they'd get away with it," she prattled as we made our way to the counter.
I bought the jigsaw.
The neighbour's kid may not be interested in it but I'm going to have a blast.