The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, February 09, 2009

a satire on the reporting style of sky news

Snow engulfed Britain today, sweeping across the country in a great icy swathe of mind numbing terror.
The snow fell vertically from the sky, covering everything it touched in a merciless sheen of frosty brilliance.
Occasionally it fell sideways but this was only when the wind blew it in a particular direction. (Sideways.)
Prime Minister Gordon Brown, speaking from a toboggan outside Ten Downing Street, commented: "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
Scientists say the snow is composed of water frozen into a solid state with a white fluffy texture.
The snow had carpeted the entire country by mid morning leaving a devastating trail of snow men, snow forts, and snow balls.
In other news, Al Qaeda has detonated atomic weapons across western Europe. We'll have more on that and on moves to impeach former President George Bush for war crimes, after the weather forecast.

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