The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

surrealism

An email from Sheikh Ahmed.
We've been out of touch for a few years.
Mild disagreement about the War On Terror.
Today he's sent me a lecture about the poet Ezra Pound which he's due to deliver to some literary group in a British university.
The covering note attached to the lecture reads as follows:
"James.
Have a look at this and make any alterations you feel are necessary.
Ahmed."
Now gentle travellers of the internet, this calls for discernment.
The Sheikh has a towering intellect. He speaks ten languages.
But English is not one of them.
Okay he speaks English.
It's just that it's not possible to know what he means when he speaks it.
As for his written English, the results are even more surrealistic.
I cast my eyes over the lecture.
Yes, I could make some alterations.
But it would mean writing a whole new lecture.
The lecture as it is, might as well have been written in ancient Egyptian.
It's genuinely utterly incomprehensible.
What on earth should I do?
First off, I gotta make friends with some Buddhist intellectuals.
They're less likely to take offence at my constructive criticisms than the Muslim ones.
And they're less likely to take action.
I'm telling you folks.
Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.
Clearly they've got it in for both me and Ahmed.

4 Comments:

Blogger Genevieve Netz said...

Send it back and tell him that he's never expressed himself better and that you admire his command of the language. (And insist that he give you no credit whatsoever!)

1:22 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

Gen.
It's worth a try!
James

1:55 AM  
Blogger Schneewittchen said...

Hahahaha :))))))))))))))))

3:36 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

Whoever is tickling Schneewittchen, stop it now.
J

2:49 AM  

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