The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, February 23, 2008

toewatch four heelers toe has risen from the grave (english language version)

Heelers hobbling heroically through the kitchen like a French legionary in the film Beau Geste hobbling through the desert.
Doctor Barn looks up from his newspaper. (Gamblers Weekly.)
"Please," quoth he with some exasperation, "please go and get your ingrown toe seen to."
I favoured him with a look of entreaty.
"I don't suppose you could give me something for it?" I enquired. "You know. The Hippocratic oath and all that. You're supposed to heal the sick aren't you? Not just get annoyed with them for expiring in your immediate vicinity."
Daktari spread his arms wide in merry bemusement.
When he spoke it was in the voice of Doctor McCoy from Star Trek.
"For God's sake Jim," he proclaimed, "I'm a doctor not a chiropodist."
I hobbled out stage left leaving him in mild paroxysms at his own joke.

3 Comments:

Blogger Genevieve Netz said...

James,

I highly recommend the cotton ball portion of this home treatment regimen. If that doesn't cure it, then you should indeed go to the podiatrist. The toe is affecting your lifestyle. You can't carry on like this. :)

6:47 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

Gen.
Obliged as always!
You've saved my life.
Or at least my toe!
J

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paroxyms surely?
Zorgon the Vorg

4:29 PM  

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